Competition between women at work is rarely discussed openly. Yet many professionals recognise it.
It can surface subtly: in meetings, progression conversations, performance reviews, or the way feedback is delivered. Often it isn’t overt conflict. It’s tension. Misinterpretation. Protectiveness.
And it’s usually a symptom of something deeper.
In Oyster’s Leading From The Front webinar, Stronger Together: Turning Competition into Collaboration, our panel explored why these dynamics emerge and what leaders can do to create environments where collaboration feels safer than competition.
In the discussion we looked at how we shift from a blame culture to embracing systems, psychology, and leadership responsibility.
Watch the full webinar recording below.
Why Competition at Work Isn’t Always Personal
What looks like rivalry is often misread behaviour. In professional environments, different working styles can easily be interpreted through a competitive lens:
• Direct communication interpreted as hostility
• Quiet reflection interpreted as disengagement
• Confidence interpreted as threat
In environments where expectations and feedback aren’t clear, people fill the gaps with assumptions. These assumptions erode trust. Even in places where no personal conflict exists, when progression routes and feedback loops are unclear, defensiveness can grow.
The “Unicorn Effect”: What Happens When There’s Only One Seat at the Table
When progression feels limited, people protect position rather than build shared success.
The session referenced this as the “unicorn effect,” where women in senior roles are treated as rare proof of progress.
This visibility can increase pressure on individuals, and create the illusion that there is limited space at the top. When there’s perceived scarcity at senior levels, competition becomes inevitable.
This is a structural issue, not a personality issue.
Fear-Based Narratives and Self-Silencing
The panel also explored how fear shapes workplace dynamics.
Competition itself isn’t inherently negative, but it becomes damaging when it’s driven by threat, whether real or perceived.
One insight that resonated strongly:
“I think a lot of women self-silence in the workplace, and that builds up resentment. And then we start building a narrative in our head, and we play into that narrative.”
When insecurity goes unaddressed, internal stories take over.
Leadership Transparency Changes the Dynamic
Where competition becomes unhealthy, leadership clarity often helps reduce it. Ambiguity can fuel suspicion, while transparency creates greater stability and trust.
Practical actions discussed in the session included:
- Clear criteria for progression and promotion
- Visible pathways, timelines and role expectations
- Consistent behavioural standards across teams
- Addressing conduct directly rather than relying on informal processes
When promotion processes feel opaque, outcomes are often interpreted through relationships, visibility or perceived favour. This can lead to assumptions that may not reflect the reality of how decisions are made.
Reintegration, Flexibility, and Retention
A significant part of the discussion focused on reintegration after leave and the impact this can have on long-term retention.
Many women return to work and experience:
• Reduced access to stretch opportunities
• Less visibility in decision-making forums
• Assumptions about commitment or capacity
• Pressure to perform as though there has been no gap
One comment captured this concern clearly:
“The fear is, the minute you leave, that door you worked so hard to get into is slammed behind you.”
This highlights the importance of making reintegration intentional rather than informal.
Organisations that retain senior women:
• Hold clear conversations before and during leave
• Create structured re-entry plans
• Design roles that reflect real working lives
Moving Forward: Building Collaboration Into Workplace Structures
The discussion also highlighted several practical actions that can support healthier collaboration at work.
For Leaders and HR Teams
• Publish progression criteria in plain language
• Explain how promotion decisions are reviewed
• Build multiple routes for growth (not a single bottleneck)
• Apply consistent behavioural standards, regardless of seniority
• Create structured reintegration plans
• Provide access to coaching and mentoring beyond informal networks
For Individuals
• Ask directly for clarity on progression criteria
• Request feedback tied to behaviours and outcomes
• Build relationships across teams, not only within reporting lines
• Test assumptions with a trusted sounding board
• Address tension early, calmly and directly
Stronger Together Isn’t a Slogan, It’s a Structural Choice
Collaboration doesn’t happen by chance. It happens when progression feels transparent, when behaviour standards are consistent, when reintegration feels safe and when leadership reduces ambiguity instead of increasing it.
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